When you say "I Do" to the person you love, you'd never imagine that somewhere down the road you might end up filing for divorce. But after all the rice and rose petals are swept off the wedding aisle, the real work of marriage begins. And making a relationship like marriage successful is work. Often that journey is difficult and fraught with hardship, resulting frequently in divorce. In fact, in the United States, about 3.2 in 1000 people divorce. While the reasons are often varied and unique to each couple, researchers have been able to pinpoint several common reasons that couples get divorced. Below are three of the most common reasons that couples end up filing for divorce.
1. Emotional Abuses
In his research of relationships and couples, mental health expert Dr. John Gottman came up with something he called The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse. It was his way of describing the four emotional abuses that happen in the marriages that almost always end up in failure. Gottman's four horses include "criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling." Beginning in his lab in the 1970s, Gottman began conducting systematic observations of couples and observing the patterns of failed relationships. He made his conclusions based on many years of observations and analysis.
2. Financial Disagreements
Another common reason that couples call it quits is a financial disagreement. In a study published by the Family Relations Journal, researchers looked at data about the most common disagreements among couples. Four to five years after the study questions were posed to couples, the most common argument amongst the now divorced couples in the study group was finances. Financial disagreements often stem from different individual viewpoints about how finances should be budgeted and what types of things should be purchased. It's these basic misunderstandings that can cause couples the most problems.
Finally, a third reason for divorce is infidelity. There are few betrayals of trust as extreme as infidelity, which is why there are countless stories, films, songs, and poems throughout the ages that deal with this very subject. Sometimes, the infidelity may be sparked by the two causes listed previously and end up as the final catalyst for the finalizing of the divorce. Statistics show that men are more likely to cheat than women and they also show that adults who participate in an extramarital affair are more likely to become divorced or separated from their spouse than those who don't.
For more information, contact your local divorce lawyer.